Turkey Day Rewind

Turkey Day Rewind

Thanksgiving is probably my favorite holiday. Sorry Jesus Christ. Your birthday has been around a lot longer than Thanksgiving, so we can give some homage to the turkey for a little bit.

The other day I tried to recall as far back as I could, my earliest memories of Thanksgiving. I’m not sure why, but I could only get back to age 10. The more I think about it, I don’t think I even had a favorite food at that age. We had just moved to Baytown, Texas from Covington, Louisiana and that fall my mom was 8 months pregnant with my brother Dan. We ordered takeout Thanksgiving dinner at Wyatt’s Cafeteria. Mom probably said to my dad, “Screw this. I’m pregnant and I’m not cooking.” Having had to deal with a pregnant spouse twice before (me and my sister Amy), I’m sure Dad knew to choose his battles and did the smart thing. I remember going to the cafeteria with my sister and Dad bringing home a big ole box ‘o Thanksgiving. My Dad’s parents came over and I remember posing for pictures with my Oklahoma Sooner shirt and my high water, corduroy pants.  Fashion and me never have got along too well.

On to Turkey Day memories…..

Thanksgivings of Day’s Past

Seems like Thanksgivings got better as I got older. No more sitting at the kid’s table has a lot to do with it. In the early 80’s, I had my own apartment in Baytown, Texas and I sponsored a couple of parties called “The Annual Tim Guest Day Before Thanksgiving Party”. Big times with a keg of Old Milwaukee beer and loud music. How I managed to cram 60 people into my 1 bedroom apartment I will never know. Dink and Laura Stephens had been married about a year and when they arrived Dink asked where he could put his jacket. I didn’t have a closet so he put it inside the dishwasher so he wouldn’t forget it. Genius. I recall someone (name withheld to protect the stupid) showing the partygoers that if you breed 2 Igloo Playmate coolers you get a 20-quart bigger one. I know, I’m scratching my head right now too. My neighbor below me must have detested me, because Baytown’s finest showed up around 11:00 that night and things quieted down from there.

Another time back in Baytown, me, Robert Burch and Chris Hastie went over to Chris’ mom’s house for Thanksgiving and ate ham. I don’t think I ate so much ham in my life. One tended to get really hungry hanging out with those two, if you know what I mean. Cough, cough….

The year my brother was married, the whole family went to Austin in order to remind Dan to never do this again. Dan and I fried our first turkey and for some reason, it came out fantastic.  The only hitch we discovered was what to do with the oil. We then hatched a covert operation that even Dick Cheney would have been proud of. Since Dan’s neighborhood was still under construction, we took the oil under the cover of darkness to a vacant lot and poured it out. I love the smell of warm peanut oil in the morning. Robert Duvall, Apocalypse Now reference…..

Susie and I had our first Thanksgiving the year before we were married. She lived in Austin and I was still living in Seguin. Her brother managed to get us tickets to the Texas A&M-Texas game in College Station on Thanksgiving Day. Susie’s sister Dalia and her future husband Jerry drove to Austin Wednesday night and we all cooked Thanksgiving lunch on Thursday. After lunch we drove to College Station and froze our arses off in our end zone bleacher seats.  These were the bleachers that faced directly north. Into a 30 mile per hour wind. I don’t think I could have been colder. We drove back to Austin with sleet and snow the whole way and somehow made it back dent free.

Since we have moved out west, we don’t have the gigantic, multiple family celebrations as in past years. It’s really a pleasure to have a quiet celebration, but I do miss our relatives. The first year back in California, we had our first Thanksgiving with just the two of us. We couldn’t find a stunted growth, malnourished turkey so we went with a chicken. Why couldn’t the turkey growers cross a chicken with a turkey and come up with a smaller version?  Anyhow, we cooked an amazing roast chicken with olive dressing. Susie made a couple of pies and I cooked the dressing and potatoes. We also had green bean bundles wrapped in bacon. Nothing is bad with bacon. Duh. Bacon on a truck bumper would be delish. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

PS-Dump the turkey oil in cat litter next time. Much less mess and smell. Your neighbors will love you…..

Working With Bo

Working With Bo

“We want you to jump on board with us. C-mon!”

This was the voice mail my future boss left me after I interviewed for a territory manager position with the Bo Brown Company. I have to admit, I wasn’t real sure if “C’mon” meant, “Give me a call me back” or “Hurry up man! Let’s go!” After a few years working for Bo, I think I am getting it figured out.

Working for Bo is a pleasure and a challenge. He is by far, the best “people” person I have ever worked with, and going away, the best salesperson. I learn something new every time I am around him. When I say challenge, I mean he has his own language, so to speak, and you literally need a reference guide to understand him.

The first instance of this came with a phone call to Bo about a month after I started working for The Bo Brown Company. I called his cell and he answered, “Brown here!” I think I hung up because I wasn’t sure who it was. Another time Bo answered his phone “Bo Bo here!” I didn’t say anything for a few seconds and he finally said, “Tim-o, is that you?”

 Mealtime is when the best of Bo seems to come out. When he makes dinner reservations the hostess asks whose name the reservation is under. He never misses and answers, “Brown. Like the color.” Of course then he has to use his second most famous line with the waiter. He always grabs the waiter or hostess and says, ”Hey man. You got any coupons?” I suppose he must have asked for coupons before and they had some. Might as well ask. When asked what he wants to drink, Bo usually replies “Red wine, but not that expensive shit.” I about choked on a piece of ice.

One time while eating dinner with a group, we were discussing the best ways to get out of a speeding ticket. Some of the better responses were asking the policeman if he was selling tickets to the Policeman’s Ball, in which the cop usually says, “I’m sorry, Policemen don’t have balls.” Bo piped in and told us he always told his kids that if they got between a rock and hard place, they should just tell the cop, “I got the diarrhea.” I want to try it out, but I don’t know if I could pull it off.

I asked Bo how his dinner was and without a hitch, he responds, “It’ll bubble up a turd.” Not the newest response I have heard; Kelly Wilkie usually says the same. After eating dinner it never fails that the staff will try to get us to order desert. I asked Bo if he was going to have any and he said, “Can’t. I got the sugar diabetes.” Chocolate and him don’t get along real well, so he passes and reminds us, “That’ll pop up a zit if you’re not careful.’

Bo and I had a lunch meeting with some customers one day. They had us meet them at the restaurant and we arrived about the same time as them. We all sat down at the table and our customer starts ordering food for all of us, even drinks. Bo leaned over to me and whispered, “Ain’t this some shit!” I almost spit out my eggroll.

Bo Brown Company meetings are an opportune time to learn when Bo is around. He has been in this industry forever and he helps us learn about mistakes. He always cautions us to be careful about what you say and whom you say it to because, “You might get into a jackpot.” Truer words have not been spoken.

One time Gina Hawley (my business partner) placed a big order with one of our customers. Bo was pretty jazzed with this and responded as only Bo can. I don’t know how he does it, but Bo tilts his head to the right, clasps his hands together next to his mouth and makes of big popping sound like a cork being pulled out of a wine bottle. I have been watching him do this for 5 years from all angles, but I can’t figure out to save my life how he does this.

 Bo gives excellent advice and we all take what Bo says as the gospel. Gina was telling me that she asked Bo for some advice and Bo told her “You’re a grown-ass woman; you can make up your mind.” Being the always cool and calculating person I am, I decided to use that line.  Later that day Gina and I were driving to an account talking about a completely different subject. She asked “What do you think I should do?” Trying to be funny, I mused, “Well you’re a big-ass woman, you decide.” I noticed she didn’t say much for a few seconds and I looked over at her. The daggers from her eyes were heading straight at the carotid artery in my neck and she glared at me and said, ”What in the hell did you just say?” Of course we laugh about this exchange now, but for a few seconds that afternoon, I didn’t think I was going to live to see the sunset that evening. I am still careful when I eat at a restaurant with her and I watch her like a hawk to make sure she doesn’t spike my food. One can’t be too careful….

Bo has always been very complimentary to people he likes and people he likes to work with. The other day he was complementing one of the buyers he works with.

“She’s amazing to work with. She’s bionic.” I think you need to be born before 1968 to understand what in the world he was talking about.

 Bo’s wife Ruth tells a good story also. She told us that Bo gets up earlier than her and is wide awake when she gets up. Bo’s been up for a while and wants to talk. Ruthie just looks at Bo, puts her finger to her lips in a shushing manner and slowly turns her head left to right in a very convincing negative way. We only thought Bo was the boss….

Working for this man has been a tremendous blessing and I am super fortunate to be on his team. To be able to watch Bo work a tradeshow, detail customers on product or make the rounds at the dinner table while we are eating is magical. The man knows people and how to treat people. I’m a lucky guy.

Bo, Gina and Me