Saturday, April 7, 2012

Note To Tiger


Mark Twain never said it better; “The reports of my death has been greatly exaggerated.” Tiger, it’s about time you stepped it up a notch and spanked the field again. I was getting tired of the rumors of your demise.

Now the question is, “Can you keep this momentum going?” Staying healthy is obviously one part of the puzzle. Withdrawing a few weeks ago with the tightness in your achille’s showed me you finally realized you’re not superhuman. Funny, you don’t look as pumped up and beefy as you have looked in the past. Wonder if that might have caused the knee issues? Hmmm…. Anyway, don’t change your regimen (at least most of it) anytime soon. Your work ethic that leaves the rest of the field scratching its collective head needs to be regenerated. Nothing beats practice. Just ask Ben Hogan.

You look like you have set the past firmly behind you now. As much as you can, let bygones be bygones and don’t look back. Who needs a black Escalade with the windows smashed out anyway? You don’t have to be a “playa” anymore to impress us. Face it, we could give a rat’s ass how many “accomplishments” you have anyway. Spend time with your kids and be a dad to them. You’re just going to get one chance to be there for them.

The time has come to be your self. Now, I’m not talking about fist pumping, over-cussing Tiger. We all have grown extremely weary of old Tiger, with the “in your face” attitude and short fuse. That was cute in it’s day and we all got a giggle out of it when you would rant and perform the oh-so dramatic uppercut to the chin. Please. Golf is still trying to be a gentleman’s game and visibly standing on the neck of your opponent and spitting on them is a little tired. That belongs in the NFL along with Sean Peyton’s and Greg William’s bounty list. Be the focused Tiger. Be the steely eyed Tiger. Let your golf speak for itself. We are never short of good role models in golf. I know, I know, Tom Watson can come across a little pompous, but you have to admit that he could win with class.

One thing I am pleased at, for the most part, is your fairly genuine refusal to bow to the fashion divas of the golf world. I am a little disappointed that you shrunk to the level of a white belt from time to time, but at least you have not fallen to Ricky Fowler status. He looks like Walt Disney threw up on him. Good golfer or not, his handlers must be castrated. He looks like the love child of Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga. John Daly can wear some crazy pants, but we all know he’s doing it for the paycheck he so desperately needs.  Just dress your age Tiger, not your putter length and you’ll be fine. Clothes don’t make the player, just ask Greg Norman.

Tiger, this is your re-birth.  The swagger is back. You have every pro golfer in the world looking nervously over their sponsor-laden shoulder.  The “Oh shit. I’m paired with Tiger.”, thought is now back in the fore-front of their minds. You are in the head of everyone who tee’s it up from now on. You have got it goin’ again.

Make us proud Tiger. Give mom a hug for me.

EW

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